


May 1, 2017

by superfluffycool



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 14:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10788654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfluffycool/pseuds/superfluffycool
Summary: If you're in the fandom, you know.





	May 1, 2017

INT. Sam and Cait’s apartment in South Africa. Early afternoon.

Cait stands at the counter chopping vegetables for lunch. Sam enters wearing gym clothes, and is slightly sweaty. He goes over to her and kisses her.

Cait: You were gone awhile.

Sam: Had to spend some extra time hitting the bag.

Cait: What happened now?

Sam: THIS

He shows her something on his phone.

Cait stabs her vegetable knife into the wooden cutting board.

Cait: That little…

She pulls the knife back out.

Cait: She should be happy she’s a 20 hour flight from here.

Sam: I love it when you’re angry and possessive.

He kisses her again.

Cait: What should we do?

Sam: To what?

Cait: Fucking drown it out! Something big.

Cait stays at the counter holding the knife. Sam sits on the edge of the couch.

Sam: Tweet some sexual innuendo?

Cait: I did that last week. The hickey you left on my thigh, remember?

Sam: Right. We could go out, and I’ll tweet a selfie?

Cait: You did that already. Rugby match. 

Sam: And you’ve already touched my junk on a red carpet.

Cait: I did not!

Sam: Not with yer fingers! With yer hip! In front of Tony!

Cait: Oh, right. And some people still thought Tony was my boyfriend. 

Sam: Should I tweet a photo of me grabbing yer breasts, or yer bum?

Cait: You did grab my breast. The Woman on Top video?

Sam: I did!

He gets up from the arm of the couch and goes to her. He removes the knife from her hand and nuzzles her neck.

Sam: We should make a sex tape.

Cait: (grinning) Oh, really?

Sam: It’s perfect. No one can say it’s photoshopped, and no one will think we did it on purpose, because who would? It would be too embarrassing!

Cait: Embarrassing for who? I think we’re very good at it.

Sam: We are. 

He kisses her neck and caresses her breasts.

Sam: We could do what we want. I’ll fire my publicist. I wouldn’t need one anymore. We’ll be so famous!

Cait: (laughing) You forgot the best part.

Sam: What’s that?

Cait: It will piss off Old Shitner.

Sam: (laughing) YEESSSSSSS.

They both laugh maniacally. 

Cait: We should go out to lunch.

Cait steps away from him and starts packing away the vegetables into small containers.

Sam: Aren’t you making something?

Cait: Yes. Salad. KALE salad.

Sam: Let’s go out. We can plan our sex tape over a pizza.

Cait laughs and and grabs her purse. They head out the door, attached at the hip.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really think they should make a sex tape and release it to the public, but if they did, it would be exceptionally hot. 
> 
> In addition, I think it's hilarious that anyone could explain away all their behavior as "just actors" or "just friends". All the stuff mentioned really happened. Allllll of it, and more. Try justifying that to an SO.
> 
> *****UPDATE*****
> 
> I stand by this. Ironically, S&C did what I imagined them doing–-they drowned out Rainbow Gate, but in a way I did not predict (and find just kind of yucky).
> 
> Still not buying the other relationship, but also not sure where to go from here. We're all in the same boat, but not a necessarily a Ship. Probably a life boat.


End file.
